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Y'all Have Set the Bar Too Excessive on These Dorm Rooms

January 16, 2024
Homeschooling Blogs

For the love of all that is hot and chocolatey, can y’all knock it down a few rungs on the dorm room expectations!?

I. Can’t. Even. Handle. This. 

Yes, as a matter of fact, I *do* know that I can just not look at the posts in that Facebook group that I have now removed myself from. But listen, I HAVE ACCIDENTALLY AND NAIVELY ALREADY DONE THE LOOKING and now it’s inside my brain and wreaking havoc on my mind and heart. 

I mean good Lord this bar is just too high. 

This is like that Tooth Fairy mess that y’all started back in 2008. Where the game changed and we suddenly had to leave glittery notes from The Fairy written in calligraphy with a sprinkling of butterfly dander. 

You’ve set the bar too high on dorm room decor (AI Photo Credit: Melissa Gibson)

And what about that Elf on the Shelf?

Or the time y’all decided we are now doing that GODFORSAKENELFONTHESHELF that dangles from a zip line thread and has marshmallow “snowball fights” as the kids sleep. Remember that time y’all had us leaving Hershey’s kisses by the toilet because Elmer the Elf came all the way from the North Pole just to POOP IN OUR BATHROOMS?

Y’all got me for one season with that Elf mess, but I for sure ain’t falling for that dorm mess. For one, a retro mini fridge with chrome handles and 31 cubic storage space is a bit more expensive than a new Elf on the Shelf skirt for Twinkles.

But really, even if I were a millionaire I wouldn’t be racing to any finish line with ‘The Perfect Pinterest Room’ at the end simply because I can’t keep up. Maybe, I don’t want to.

But the pressure is there because, like I said, I already looked at what the rest of y’all are doing. It’s in my brain now. The pressure won’t get out. Stop talking about the race. Quit telling me what the outcome should be after you’ve changed the rules again. Stop doing that to us. 

The expectations are just too much

The expectations are too much. Coordinate a color palette with a roommate (Wait. Sorry. We’re calling it “roomie” now) you’ve never seen in person. Get a bed skirt even though your kid has never owned one in her life. 

Find that oh-so-special desktop fan called a Woozee or Wowzee or some other W word.

FIND THAT MINI FRIDGE!  Get the best deal on the cupholder for the side of a lofted bed. 

FAIRY LIGHTS. And now I’m supposed to figure out how to attach a tufted headboard between a twin XL bed and a concrete wall?!

Can we please remember that this is the KID’S dorm room, first of all? Then, can we remember that this is not what college is about? A ‘Perfectly Put Together Pinterest Room’ is not college. College is a rite of passage. A struuuugggglllle. 

A STRUGGLE. 

College is supposed to be a struggle

My plan is to be there for her in the struggle. It is not to stay up all night worrying about how I’m going to decorate a room that’s almost 400 miles away. A room that I’ve only seen PDF drawings of. Drawings that are actually labeled “Room May Not Be Exact.”

No. I’m not staying up all night worrying how it will all look in the end. I’m actually awake because I’m old and my arms get tingly for some weird perimenopausal reason. 

My goal isn’t a perfect room. My goal for is for my daughter to make friends. To try new things (but not drugs). To do her best. To be a good friend. No, a great friend. My goal is for her to be amazing and courageous and eat fruit every day.

No amount of fairy lights and pink neon will help her with that. 

WE ALREADY HELPED HER WITH ALL OF THE ABOVE. We did it. We’re already AT the finish line. We’ve jumped over all bars. Our finish line and high bar look nothing like a Pinterest Board that some over-achieving homemaker has created. And it’s exactly the line we want to run across. It’s just the bar we want to hop over. And that’s okay. 

I’ve got so much more to say on this, but I have to go write a few ‘Open When’ letters to mail off to my daughter. If you don’t know what those are. They are a thing now. So yes, I guess y’all did get me a little bit. 

But only a little. 

More Great Reading:

Top 12 Things All Freshmen Need for College

This Is What Dorms Looked Like In The 80s And We Survived

Melissa Gibson is a writer and photographer living in north Georgia. She is married to her high school sweetheart and together they have four girls ranging from elementary aged to awesome independent adult. Her favorite things? Atlanta Braves, books and peace-n-quiet. You can find her on Facebook or here.

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